Escalation by Blackadder

Escalation by Blackadder
Current mood: distressed

From the awesome BBC TV Show Blackadder:

General: Now, Field Marshal Hague has formulated a brilliant new tactical plan to ensure final victory in the field.

Captain Blackadder: Ah, would this brilliant plan involve us climbing out of our trenches and walking very slowly towards the enemy, sir?

Captain Darling: How could you possibly know that Blackadder? It's classified information!

Captain Blackadder: It's the same plan that we used last time, and the seventeen times before that.

General: Exactly! And that is what is so brilliant about it! It will catch the watchful Hun totally off guard. Doing precisely what we've done eighteen times before is exactly the last thing they'll expect us to do this time! There is, however, one small problem...

Captain Blackadder: That everyone always gets slaughtered in the first ten seconds?

General: That's right. And Field Marshal Hague is worried that this may be depressing the men a tad. So, he's looking to find a way to cheer them up.

Captain Blackadder: Well, his resignation and suicide would seem the obvious.

Currently listening :
Alright, Still
By Lily Allen
Release date: 01 August, 2006

My Respects

I just read this interesting article about President Ford and the way he chose to keep his strong religious beliefs private.

In a time when the current president won't shut up for a second about how he's been "born again," how he talks to Jeebus every day, and how close he is to the big man upstairs, it's relieving to see that our country did have, at one point, an effective leader who didn't feel compelled to prop himself up all the time.

He understood that, in order to lead effectively, one needed to listen to both sides, and to keep one's personal beliefs from becoming polarizing. He understood, better than any American president before or since, that our constitution is a secular document, not a spiritual one, and that our leadership should reflect this. He saw our country as a safe haven for practicing one's beliefs, and felt there was room enough in the tent for people of all faiths (or lack thereof!)

On the day of his funeral, I remember his commitment to secularism, and hope that our political climate will one day allow more like him to flourish. With all the problems our country is facing, we need to be focused on the issues at hand, not on the afterlife.

Who's Civilized?

This morning's photos remind that, if this is considered "justice," we've still got a hell of long way to go as a species.

A Camel Through A Needle's Eye

A Camel Through A Needle's Eye
Current mood: amused

Here's a press release from Franklin Graham, son of the Reverend Billy, regarding the memorial he will be building for his father. I swear I did not make this up.

"[V]isitors will pass through a 40-foot-high glass entry cut in the shape of a cross and be greeted by a mechanical talking cow. They will follow a path of straw through rooms full of multimedia exhibits. At the end of the tour, they will be pointed toward a stone walk, also in the shape of a cross, that leads to a garden where the bodies of Billy and Ruth Graham could lie. Throughout the tour, there will be several opportunities for people to put their names on a mailing list."

I'm sure that this is all part of "God's Plan." Because, you know, the bible's all about self-gratification and the accumulation of massive wealth. Not to mention that part in Leviticus about mechanical talking cows.

Jeez. Sure glad I'm not part of Corporate Christianity anymore. It sure is awfully funny to observe from the outside, though.

Currently listening :
Light & Magic
By Ladytron
Release date: 20 July, 2004

Little Johnnie

Little Johnnie
Current mood: listless

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he
offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.
"Stanley," responds the little boy. "And what is your question, Stanley?"

"I have 4 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support
of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/3 of all Americans
don't have health insurance? "

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that
they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right,
question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his
name. "Little Johnnie" he responds. "And what is your question, Little
Johnnie?"

"Actually Sir, I have 6 questions:

First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/3 of all Americans
don't have health insurance?

Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And sixth, what the hell happened to Stanley?"

Currently listening :
Fuzzy Warbles Collector's Album
By Andy Partridge
Release date: 07 November, 2006